Sparky Blogs

I've been going crazy studying and working hard these few days. It has become a drug to me. It's not like I really really enjoy it, it's actually kind of a way for me to... to um, well, scream? You know when you get hurt mentally by people? Well I was kinda hurt, but that hurt kind of powered me up. To be honest, it's not like "I HAVE TO PROVE TO MYSELF THAT I CAN STAND BACK UP" sort of thing, it's more like "Ugh, I'm kinda hurt. Imma try to study 9 hours today". Okay, that was kinda weird, I know they might seem like they're not related at all, but, yea. So this studying drug isn't stressful at all. It's kind of satisfying actually. Sparky x

Again, if this person is reading, don't dm me about this. Forget you read this. Thanks. (Although im 200% sure you forgot about this blog already? lmao, that's okay, you're not supposed to read this anyway) I talked to Megan about this last night, and she's right. Some stufffs happened that triggered this again. I guess it's only natural. I was also really surprised. Well, not very very surprised but like? Megan isn't an emotional person like me, but she's a really really good listener. She doesn't hesitate to give advice. I feel comfortable talking to her because we don't say things carefully or- I don't know what I'm saying lmao? But like we just say whatever is on our minds and we know the other won't be offended? She posted on her private account. I could tell it was for me to read. She wrote something like, some people change. Maybe you were close friends for a while, but then you drift apart. It's often difficult to get back...

Ah. Some more rambling on grades. So, I've mentioned in a previous post that I failed an exam? Well, I've been paying a lot more effort into it than before. Due to the coronavirus, we have school suspension (this is the biggest hint to where I from- wait, no, no one else is reading except my friends, but um let's pretend there are). So during school suspension, teachers voiceover powerpoints for us to learn by ourselves. This is actually a great chance for me to catch up, so I worked extra hard on this new chapter we're on. I went through examples several times, did lots of practice questions, before doing the assignment. After that, I was like: Right. Now that I'm relatively familiar with the concepts, let's do this assignment. That brings us to right now, where I'm stuck in the first question already. So I had kind of a mental breakdown. The thing is, a friend of mine who also studies this subject, she sleeps all the time in class and forgets about...