Sparky Blogs

I have this friend. I've never met anyone like her before, in terms of personality. Well, before I came to the UK, all my friends and I have very similar personalities, and I didn't realise until now. This friend is the most blunt person I've ever ever met. She is funny, but sometimes it feels forced. She's also pissed all the time, which is partly funny but sometimes annoying (to me, at least). She's also a bit show-y off-y, but I don't think she realises. Anyways, she makes a lot of jokes, which some of them are about her and her father's relationship. Her father is one of those rich, workaholic dads who show their love and care through material. She jokes about never being able to see him. She says things like: I don't remember the last time we had a meal together - all three of us. And I just... can't laugh at that. I guess it's her coping mechanism - joke it off. Today, at school, a teacher announced that a student's father had passed aw...

I like shutting myself off sometimes. Just the idea of having to do stuff with people 24/7 makes me sick. Disappearing on social media, giving short responses in real life, saying no to everything, I need to do this sometimes in order to... survive. I know some people don't live like this. They love noise and hype and doing everything together . I just- can't. It's so very tiring to be with these kind of people. Yes, they make fun things fun, but I also get mad at them in secret not because they did something wrong, but because I just don't want to interact with them sometimes. I feel like I've talked about something like that before and am repeating myself, but I just can't stress enough how much this impacts me, especially since... I'm dealing with this every single day now. Sparky x

Here I am, shivering naked and dripping wet as I type this entry because I'm scared it'd leave me again. See, I've been living within boundaries. We all are. Technically, there is no society if there are no boundaries. Boundaries and expectations are essential for a group of people to become a "society", at least in my opinion. There will always be things that are conventional and unconventional; things as simple as murder is bad, or something that's unspoken but still there nonetheless, like what is considered "cool". There are societies within a country, a workplace, a school, basically any place where there are a group of people who have boundaries and expectations. Before I go off in a tangent about my theories or, I guess, rambling, I should probably mention what caused me to contemplate on this topic. Well, I've always been one to get unnecessarily upset about feeling left out (a lot of people do, honestly), and during my school years in my...