Sparky Blogs

no. i'm not asking "where am i" i'm asking where is me i'm so tired

why cant i cry i just want to cry, thats all its weird my eyes are all red but where the fuck are my tears

hi blog, im currently on a school computer. honestly im just writing because i have nothing else to do. i didnt bring my earphones to school today, so:/ cant watch shit. imma just write down my random thoughts i had throughout the day. this will probably be very long just because i have so much time. well, i just gave the principal my withdrawal letter, since yk, ill be going to the uk in september. andd he recognises me! skdjkf this is lowkey a big deal (to me. ok) my mom's right. i've always been that one kid who you see everywhere. school choir leader, one of the main roles in the school musical, a prefect, in the student association... and i consider myself very lucky. im very very grateful for this... to be able to try out different things. i think ive said something similar in a previous post actually, that ive always been kinda lucky since primary. i didnt think id achieve any of this is secondary honestly. cause... ok, here's the thing. when i was in primary school,...

[inspired by How To Become a Writer by Lorrie Moore] Wake up at 1pm. Think about the weird dream you had, of how your childhood friend pulled a baby out of your vagina or how you were standing there naked at school in the middle of a busy hallway. Check your phone. Answer your mom's call and tell her you just woke up. Get told off. Realise you've slept for 12 hours straight. You haven't had so much sleep since January. Wake up and drag yourself to the toilet. Stare at your reflection. You realise your lips are swollen. You tell yourself you should stop biting your lips. You feel a slight throbbing pain on the back of your head. You feel your boiling body temperature and wonder how long it'll be until you get sick. Think about the relationship between mental health and physical health. Stand outside the kitchen for 5 minutes, on and off Instagram, while trying to think what you should eat for breakfast. Struggle. You have no appetite, but your father would never let you ...