I have a problem

I have a problem.

I'm interested in a lot, and I want to do a lot of stuff, but I struggle with commitment.

One minute I'll be like, I NEED to get good at minecraft pvp. Another minute, I'm watching tutorials on how to make music. And then the next minute, I'll be like I should learn how to draw better. And THEN I'll say: haven't played the piano in a while, maybe I should learn a song or two. And THEN I'll watch tutorials on song recording set-ups. And then learn chess. And then buy a book about zodiac signs. And then I think about getting Valorant. And then I try to animate. And then I write one chapter of a fanfic. And then I think about streaming. And then I look into editing.

I can keep on going and I will.

I do research on what I want to write about. And then I look at dream smp game project staff applications. I think about what working on a game would be like. I realise I can't draw. I think: maybe I can contribute to the plot. I realise they probably already have a plot and my english might not be good enough to write lines for characters. Speaking of english, I realise my english might not be good enough to write a book. I become unmotivated. I try to make lofi. I finish making lofi. Brook draws a super pretty loop animation. We put it on youtube. I think about streaming again. I accidentally told my dad. He asks a friend for streaming advice. I'm not sure myself, if I want to stream. I tell myself it's unrealistic. I tell myself it's for fun. Yes, it is for fun. I realise I'm not good at video games and the only game I can pLaY is minecraft. I think about drawing again. I find this isometric art of the dream smp I really like. I forget about it after a while. I watch streams. I think about getting tarot cards. Not a reading, but actually get a set and try to do it myself. I think about what I want my future home to be like. I think about how I should decorate my future dorm room. I think about the future. I want to work on game production. I get scared. I think about the present. I don't know. I write a post on my blog.

Sparky x

Edit: I reread the post three times. I correct grammar mistakes and added the isometric art part. I look at the stack of three dirty cups on my desk. I think about Dream having a fork on his desk. I think about his sister. I think about why I don't have a sister. I realise I typed sticker instead of sister so I corrected it. I smirk at my own dumbness. I realise I have homework. I stop typing and do homework.